Growth

Little Fish, Big Pond: Growing Pains.

I moved to the Bay Area last week. Exactly one week ago today, in fact. And by move I mean drive endlessly and relentlessly across the country following the California Trail from North Carolina to Missouri, across all of Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, and the fresh hell that is Nevada (sorry, Nevadans).

2,800 miles, 3 nights/time zones, 4 days, and many potato chips later I landed safely at a dear friend's house who is graciously allowing me to set up shop in her home for the next several months until I find a place. All while managing a healthy workload and expanding my consulting business.

Needless to say it's been a bit of a whirlwind and I've been craving a status check and some much needed processing. One week in, here's what I know:

• I'm experiencing a bit of culture shock (in addition to the expected but still surprising sticker shock). People are well-coiffed, hip, savvy, and all seem to be doing Important Things with their very big brains. I've been out of the academic environment for a long time where this was more or less the scene in general, and in the real world I've been living in based out of humble Greensboro, NC, the pace of life has been just a wee bit slower.

• I wanted Inspiration, and I'm gonna get it. Of this I can be sure of. My friend reminds me to embrace this growth mindset and soak it all in... and after chatting with her I realize I'm experiencing the big fish in a small pond to small fish in a big pond leap. After these initial feelings of intimidation, I remember that there are very good reasons that I am exactly where I am at this moment in time. I remember that I grow when I'm being challenged and stimulated, and that I want to be around people who push me to be the best version of myself that I can be.

Marc Andreessen says the same thing in the context of career planning:

Never worry about being a small fish in a big pond. Being a big fish in a small pond sucks—you will hit the ceiling on what you can achieve quickly, and nobody will care. Optimize at all times for being in the most dynamic and exciting pond you can find. That is where the great opportunities can be found.

Ah yes- this is why I do exponentially better playing tennis with someone more talented than me (and why all the pros recommend it too).

• Ideal Self versus Real Self: When I was in San Diego this spring I had a wonderful talk with a colleague who had spent a few years living where I did and then decided to move back to his home state of CA. I was expressing my regrets for not having done more in the community in my time there. He told me there was my Ideal Self and my Real Self. My Ideal self wishes she could have made more of a contribution to that community, while my Real Self needs to be in an environment in which I will thrive. That really resonated with me. He also told me that this move would feel like being on a roller coaster, blindfolded, and that I just needed to hang on and enjoy the ride. Happy

• Yet another friend shared how often big life transitions bring about other transitions and new things into our lives by virtue of us making a huge seismic shift, some of which I am excited to see already taking place for me.

Along side of these growing pains, I will learn to surf and ride the waves. I may be a little fish, but I am an excellent deep water swimmer.

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